Suffering and adversity:

Passing through difficulties

In “Suffering and adversity,” the authors insist that suffering can be transformed into an opportunity to lead towards joy.

The Archbishop encourages readers to accept that experiences of envy are natural, To illustrate this claim, the Dalai Lama recounts the oppression he faced from the Chinese government and his terrifying escape to India. The Dalai Lama acknowledges and accepts those moments of suffering. The experiences of hardship meant that after persevering and surviving, the resulting joy was even greater. Similarly, the Archbishop recalls Nelson Madela’s transformation from a man of great anger to one of immense magnanimity as a result of his incarceration. Both men were able to find meaning and growth through their suffering and were not embittered by it. Through these stories and other historical moments when individuals faced unthinkable hardships, the authors celebrate the human spirit in the face of adversity. The ability to survive suffering depends on inner strength and warmheartedness, according to the Dalai Lama, who also acknowledges that such approaches to suffering develop with years of practice and growth.

We often feel that suffering will engulf us, or that the suffering will never end, but if we can realize that it, too, will pass, or as the Buddhists say, that it is impermanent, we can survive them more easily, and perhaps appreciate what have to learn from them, find meaning in them, so that we come out th either side, not embittered but ennobled.

- The Douglas Abrams, Book of Joy, p. 156

Discussion Questions

In what ways can suffering be an aspect of compassion?

What was most significant to you about the Dalai Lama’s recounting of the events that forced him into exile?

Do you agree that when one hasn’t fought through something it is easier to take it for granted? For example, the fight for the right to vote and the low voter turnout numbers in the US.

How would you describe the meaning of “generosity of spirit”?

Does it give you some comfort to know that suffering is impermanent?

How we respond to suffering determines whether the experience is ennobling or embittering. What factors help to encourage the experience to be ennobling?

The chapter describes survivors of great turmoil. What characteristics did they demonstrate? How might that be cultivated in our own lives?

Can you think of any other historical figures who’ve demonstrated great growth and triumph through suffering?

Activities

Watch Dr. Edith Eger’s Courage is a Choice Ted Talk. Dive deeper into her story in her book The Choice. Learn more about Dr. Edith Eger.

Read Six Ways to Find Your Courage During Challenging Times

Respond and consider this prompt from Missionjoy.org:

“At age 24, I lost my own country. Because I became a refugee, a new opportunity comes. If I still remained in Potala, in Lhasa, some people, you see, describe [this as a] golden cage. Dalai Lama, holy Dalai Lama would have been like that. So I personally, prefer the refugee life. It’s more useful. More opportunity to learn, more experience.” The Dalai Lama

His Holiness’s acceptance of the refugee life as an opportunity to learn is a perfect example of reframing and positive outlook.

Think of something in your life at the moment that feels challenging, and take the opportunity to shift your perspective – even if it’s only for a moment.Is there a potential opportunity that might come from that challenge?

Respond and consider this prompt from Missionjoy.org:

“The two leaders had told us over the course of the week that there is no joy without sorrow, that in fact it is the pain, the suffering that allows us to experience and appreciate the joy. Indeed, the more we turn to suffering, our own and others, the more we can turn towards Joy.” Douglas Abrams

The Archbishop and His Holiness believed their own suffering has offered them opportunities for growth and transformation.

Free-write, or as a quiet meditation, remember a time when you or someone you know experienced suffering or difficulty that led to personal growth. What are the good things that came from that transformation?

Acknowledge the growth that came from that difficulty.

Listen and practice a Meditation for when others are suffering with Anushka Fernandopulle from the Greater Good Science Center.

Practice Suffering and Compassion, a Tonglen practice, with Tara Brach.