Compassion:

Something we want to become

Recognizing that humans are hard-wired to be compassionate, the authors delve into the meaning of this pillar and the actions we can take to relieve suffering in others.

The authors note that many people find compassion difficult to adopt, in part due to the competitive nature of the modern world and fear of vulnerability. It requires abandoning a self-centered focus and recognizing that our well-being is interconnected with others. Indeed, in relieving other’s suffering, we improve our own well-being, as observed both by the authors and scientific studies. Compassion, the Dalai Lama instructs, is something we cultivate over time and that we learn about from being nurtured ourselves. Giving compassion to ourselves and to others opens a pathway towards joy, towards living with an open heart.

Too much self-centered thinking is the source of suffering. A compassionate concern for others’ well-being is the source of happiness.

- The Dalai Lama, Book of Joy, p. 251

Discussion Questions

How would you begin to define compassion?

How would you respond to someone who says, “I have enough problems of my own. Why should I worry about being more compassionate?”

Is there a compassionate person that you admire? How would you describe them and how do they manifest compassion?

Why do you think that there is such a lack of compassion in the world?

Why might showing compassion seem like a vulnerable or risky action?

How do you practice self-compassion? Did the suggestions for Krisitn Neff resonate with you or might you try some of these suggestions?

What does it look like when you or others fail to have self-compassion?

Activities

Listen to the Archbishop discuss compassion.

Take a Self-Compassion break guided by Psychiatrist Elizabeth Guinto.

Read a scientific study on the impacts of compassion: Jazaieri, H., McGonigal, K., Lee, I. A., Jinpa, T., Doty, J. R., Gross, J. J., & Goldin, P. R. (2018). Altering the trajectory of affect and affect regulation: The impact of compassion training. Mindfulness, 9, 283-293.

Write a self-compassion letter from the Greater Good Science Center.

Practice Tonglen – Discovering the Boundless Space of Compassion (5:53 min.)

Practice self compassion with Millie Wright from the Renee Crown Wellness Institute.

Spend 30 minutes practicing this Compassion Meditation.