Humility:

I tried to look humble and modest

Despite being world leaders and Nobel Laureates, the Dalai Lama has stated that he is a simple monk, while the Archbishop claims not to be a saint. They exemplify humility, the second pillar of the mind, which is the topic of this chapter.

Early in his life, the Dalai Lama experienced formal teachings that seemed to suggest he was something special, but he recounts that this led simply to anxiety and isolation. Comically, the Dalai Lama recalls several formal situations in which he imagines prestigious individuals falling off their chairs, bringing people to an equal level. Humility, according to the two men, allows us to see our place in the world and to recognize our interdependence with all of humanity. They connect arrogance with insecurity and fear, which are barriers to humility. Simultaneously, they emphasize that humility is not about self-doubt nor does it mean remaining blind to our own limitations.

When we meet anyone, first and foremost we must remember that they, too, have the same desire to have a happy day, a happy month, a happy life. And all have the right to achieve it.

- The Dalai Lama, Book of Joy, p. 203

Discussion Questions

Given their stature, does it surprise you that the Archbishop and Dalai Lama possess such humility? Why or why not?

Can you recall someone in your life who possessed great humility? What do you think was the source of that habit of mind?

The authors suggest that we are not built for independence or self-sufficiency. Recalling your education, how were independence and self-sufficiency characterized and valued? How does this contrast or align with the Dalai Lama’s and the Archbishop’s perspective?

When we take on roles of authority, why do you think it is so easy to become arrogant?

Do you see a connection between insecurity and arrogance? How would you describe it?

How do you think humility and humor might help in the face of stress?

How do you begin to define humility?

Activities

Watch three tips to be more intellectually humble with researcher Eranda Jayawickreme.

Listen to What It Means To Be Humble from the Positive Psychology podcast.

Read Is Humility the Soil for Happiness to Grow?

Read How Humility Can Help Us Bridge Our Political Divides from the Greater Good Magazine.

Practice a guided meditation on appreciating others.