Illness and fear of death:

I prefer to got to hell

The Dalia Lama and the Archbishop discuss life's impermanence and the inevitability of death in “Illness and fear of death.”

The spiritual leaders encourage readers to abandon fear, worry, and anxiety about death and instead to live a life of purpose. Death was tangibly present as the two men worked to come together for these discussions. The trip was rescheduled and rearranged multiple times so that they might attend funerals of friends and loved ones. Indeed, their own illnesses and immortality, which they candidly discuss in this chapter, caused delays. For both men, death is a very real and urgent topic from which they do not shy away. The Dalai Lama shares his meditation practice in which he confronts his own death to accept and to prepare for this inevitable eventuality. This practice, the Dalai Lama believes, helps us to live meaningful lives. He recounts the fearful and dangerous night when he escaped from Tibet, while the Chinese army was stationed all around him and his party. He accepted that he might face death in that moment and was able to do so peacefully due to his contemplative practices.

Now you see, we are guests here on this planet, visitors who have come for a short time, so we need to use our days wisely, to make our world a litter better for everyone.

- The Dalai Lama, Book of Joy, p. 166

Discussion Questions

The Archbishop has faced numerous illnesses in his life. What do you notice about his attitude towards death?

Does it surprise you that the two men can discuss death with humor?

How do you respond to the Dalai Lama’s suggestion that we meditate on our own deaths?

Do you agree that illness often leads individuals to transform their lives?

Abrams makes a distinction between curing and healing. Does that distinction resonate with you? How would you differentiate the two concepts?

Are there traditions or practices in your family or community that bring comfort in the face of death?

The two spiritual leaders celebrate the symmetry of life times and see impermanence as a central aspect of the human experience. Do you find comfort in that approach to death?

Can you recall a person, real or fictional, who approached death with particular grace and acceptance? What do you believe allowed them to do so?

Activities

Watch David Steindl-Rast and Jack Kornfield explore the surprising relationship between gratitude and death.

Read Death and gratitude: Death reflection enhances gratitude, a research study on the relationship between death and gratitude

Read Maranasati Meditation: How to Practice Mindfulness of Death.

Practice Mindfulness of Death Meditation from Insight Timer.