You are a masterpiece in the making

Throughout this chapter, the three men discuss obstacles to joy, some of which are of our own making.

All of the men share stories from their lives when they experienced anger and frustration, indicating that these are shared human experiences. The Dalai Lama encourages readers to develop mental immunity so that they may remain calm in moments of frustration. Simultaneously, the Archbishop encourages self-compassion and forgiveness when we do encounter negative experiences. As the chapter’s title signals, building calm and serenity, cultivating mental immunity, takes time and practice. This book is intended to assist in that journey.

I think we’ve got to accept ourselves as we are…I mean getting to know what the things are that trigger us. These are the things that you can train, you can change, but we ought not be ashamed of ourselves.

- The Archbishop, Book of Joy, p.85

Discussion Questions

Abrams characterizes the Dalai Lama's and the Archbishop's beliefs about human emotions as in conflict. What do you think? Is it possible to prevent negative thoughts and emotions?

How did the metaphor of the ocean- tumultuous on the surface and calm beneath resonate with you?

How might you describe mental immunity to someone who had not read the book? How do we cultivate it? Refresh your recollection of mental immunity by reading this excerpt from the Book of Joy.

How do you practice calm? What do you recognize about yourself when you are frustrated?

Are you forgiving of yourself as the Archbishop encourages?

Are you able to distinguish positive or negative thoughts and emotions as you are experiencing them? If so, how do you do so? If not, what prevents you from doing so?

How do you respond to the Archbishop's statement : "You are made for perfection, but you are not yet perfect. You are a masterpiece in the making." Have you heard similar sentiments in other moments of your life?

Activities

Watch the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop discuss the process of learning and growing towards becoming a masterpiece:

How does hearing their voices and seeing their faces communicate the message to you differently than reading their words?

Watch the Archbishop talk about the development of muscles to encourage hope.

Practice Making Space for You (6 minutes) from the Greater Good Science Center.

Engage in this activity from Missionjoy.org:

“If your health is strong, when viruses come they will not make you sick. If your overall health is weak, even small viruses will be very dangerous for you. Similarly, if your mental health is sound, then the disturbances come, you will have some distress but recover quicker. If your mental health is not good, then small disturbances, small problems will cause you much pain and suffering.” His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Mission: JOY

Well-being is a skill that can be developed with practice, and one of the simplest ways to start is to focus on gratitude. Make a list of 8 things that you feel grateful for today. People, events, feelings - anything! As you write, let yourself really feel the good feelings you associate with each thing on your list. I’ll bet you finish with a big smile on your face! You’ll feel even better if you do this once a week!

Quickly list what you perceive are obstacles to joy in your life. Now, consider what helps you create a healthy disposition for your mind to confront these obstacles?