How to Leave a Meeting with a Monster

This chapter is Ruhl’s hope for a more just and balanced world in which women are not subject to violence and harassment.

She ponders this hope through the telling of two personal encounters with ‘monsters’ experienced as a young girl and again as a professional woman. She contrasts her reactions and reflects on the strength she’s gained over the years. She advocates for a world in which women no longer need to ask for permission.

Content warning: This chapter contains discussion of sexual harassment and violence against women.

When I was sixteen, I blushed in the presence of sociopathic objectification; when I was in my forties, I walked swiftly to the door. The blush stood in for involuntary shame at a person’s cruelty; the door was my salvation.
- Sarah Ruhl

Discussion Questions

What do you think Ruhl is suggesting when she observes that women ask permission all too often?

Why is Ruhl hesitant to approach the table initially? What signals does she observe that lead to that response?

When Ruhl compares her sixteen year old self to her forty year old self, what does she discover?

What is the significance of permission to Ruhl?

What do you think Ruhl is communicating in the final line, “The power of art is stronger than the art of power”?

Who or what do you think is the teacher Ruhl wishes to honor in this chapter?

What lessons will you carry from this chapter?

Related Resources

Timeline: Harvey Weinstein

NOW: National Organization for Women